What Is Gaslighting in the Workplace, and How Do You Respond?

Short answer: Gaslighting at work means that someone, usually a person with more power, repeatedly makes you doubt your own perception, memory or judgment: “That never happened.” “You’re overreacting.” “You must have misunderstood.” The most effective response is not to argue about reality in the moment, but to anchor it: write things down, confirm agreements by email, check your perception with people you trust, and respond with facts rather than emotions. If it continues, escalate with your record in hand, or plan your exit.

What gaslighting is, and why it works at work

The term comes from a 1938 play and its film adaptations, in which a husband manipulates his wife into believing she is losing her mind. Today it describes any pattern in which someone systematically undermines another person’s sense of reality. The sociologist Paige Sweet (2019) showed that gaslighting draws its power from social inequalities: it works best where one side has more status, credibility and control.

That makes the workplace fertile ground. Your boss decides on your tasks, assessments and future, and their version of events usually carries more weight than yours. A recent study across four samples examined gaslighting by leaders specifically. Employees who experienced it reported lower self-esteem at work, poorer task performance, higher intentions to quit and weaker commitment to their leader. The researchers also showed that gaslighting is distinct from abusive supervision and other forms of mistreatment, and that its effects were weaker for employees with more informal power, such as expertise and standing, relative to their leader (Ogunfowora & Bourdage, 2026).

Signs of gaslighting at work

• Denial of what was said or agreed: “I never asked you to do that.”
• Your reactions are made the problem: “You’re too sensitive.” “You’re being emotional.”
• Shifting blame: the project failed because of you, although your instructions were incomplete.
• Withheld information: you lack details you needed, and then look unprepared.
• Rewriting the past: successes become “team efforts”, mistakes become “your pattern”.
• Isolation: “Everyone has noticed it, not just me”, without anyone ever being named.

The most telling sign is often internal: you find yourself checking your own emails to see whether you really sent something, apologizing for things you are not sure you did, and feeling more confused after conversations than before.

How to respond

1. Write it down the same day. What was said, by whom, when, in front of whom. A record is the antidote to doubt. Our free Incident Log gives you a template.
2. Move agreements into writing. After every important conversation: “To confirm what we agreed today: …”. It is hard to deny an email nobody objected to.
3. Respond with facts, calmly. “On March 4 you asked me by email to prioritize X. I can forward it to you.” Emotional reactions are what make the “you’re overreacting” narrative work.
4. Don’t fight about reality in the moment. You won’t win an argument about what was said with someone who denies it. Note it, and continue in writing.
5. Check your perception outside the relationship. A colleague who was present, a friend, a coach or a therapist. You are looking for a reality check, not for agreement at any price.
6. Strengthen your position. Expertise, visibility and allies reduce the effect of gaslighting, as the research above suggests. Keep track of your results, and make sure others than your boss see them.
7. Escalate with care. HR or the next management level can help, but go there with documented facts rather than labels. “Gaslighting” in a complaint is easy to dismiss; dated incidents are not. More on the role of HR.

When the organization does it

Gaslighting is not always the work of one person. Research on whistleblowers describes how institutions can discredit people who report misconduct, explain away the reprisals they face and finally portray them as unreliable, leaving them doubting their own perception and competence (Ahern, 2018). Complaint procedures and investigations can produce the same effect without anyone intending it. Markus Zehentner explores this in his essay Gaslighting as a management tool.

Take care of yourself. Long-term gaslighting can affect sleep, confidence and mental health. If you notice that, talk to a doctor or therapist. And if your boss responds to being confronted by turning themselves into the victim, read about DARVO, a closely related pattern.

In the book: Chapter 3 of Breaking Free from Toxic Leadership explains common manipulation tactics, Chapter 4 how to detect them and trust your instincts.

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Sources

Ahern, K. (2018). Institutional betrayal and gaslighting: Why whistle-blowers are so traumatized. The Journal of Perinatal & Neonatal Nursing, 32(1), 59–65. DOI: 10.1097/JPN.0000000000000306

Ogunfowora, B. & Bourdage, J. S. (2026). Is my boss gaslighting me? Uncovering the nomological network of gaslighting in leader-employee relationships. Journal of Management. DOI: 10.1177/01492063261426014

Sweet, P. L. (2019). The sociology of gaslighting. American Sociological Review, 84(5), 851–875. DOI: 10.1177/0003122419874843

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